A series of random thoughts on my learnings and observations in my long life… 

There may be some humor, satire, and sarcasm in my observation. If you have issues with any of these, please find your life’s pleasure somewhere else. 

So here we go.   

1. No matter how many inspirational messages I read, I wake up as inspired as I was before reading those messages.
2. We are where we should be based on our efforts put into being somewhere else.
3. Anyone who thinks that other people are stupid is most likely looking at a mirror.
4. No matter how rich, successful, and confident you are, you will always have doubts about your capabilities, money, success, your spouse, and your children that you will not share with others. 
5. I have learned everything that I was capable of learning so far. If you try to teach me something, and I am not learning, that means my glass is full. Try it another day. 

6. Relationships are about commitments without commitments being imposed. True relationships come from the heart, naturally without any expectations. 
7. Life is about connections we make not at the professional, academic or social levels but between souls. When you meet someone your soul knows if you are connecting at the soul level or not. Souls don’t ask or care about your social or financial status. Those are the connections worth saving, despite the differences at the physical or social level.
8. No matter how much you bug someone to do something, people will do what they want to do in their timeline, especially if they are your children between the ages of 5 and 25. 
9. Life’s meaningful lessons are cheaper than life’s stupidities, no wonder YouTube pays people to make videos about their stupidity. 
10. We pick on other people’s shortcomings that are our own shortcomings. It is not scientifically proven but made it up because it sounded like a good quote. 🙂

Since I retired, I have been contemplating frequently, if I am doing everything as I am supposed to do to avoid retirement blues. I am fearful of doing nothing and slowly degenerating into a vegetative state. I am guessing most retired people go thru this phase of thinking, or maybe I am hypersensitive about being inactive since I’ve been active most of my life. It is a very personal feeling. I have not heard many other retired people expressing this fear but have seen retired people live thru that phase of life and that is terrifying. 

We all have our fears, some known, some unknown. My foremost fear is becoming dependent on anyone in my lifetime. I have worked hard and long so that I don’t have to depend on anyone physically, mentally, or financially. But circumstances and life situations can shatter our dreams and plans and throw us into turmoil that is beyond our control. If such a thing happens, of course, I will accept it. But if something happens when it was under my control and didn’t do anything to avoid the situation that will be the most dreadful moment of my life. 

Lately, I’ve been in that state of confusion. After much reflection, concluded that this fear of the unknown happens as we enter every new phase of our life, generally every decade; but it is more prominent now because there is less chaos happening in my life and there is more time to give it a thought. 

We all experience a state of confusion in every new phase of our life at varying levels but recognize only when it has a direct impact on our psyche or life. When my friend Prakash was about to turn 50, he started talking about spirituality, and pilgrimage and became an ardent follower of Shiva. I have seen some close friends and family members how they went into a different state of mind but mostly the state of confusion. We are always searching for ways to make our life meaningful as long as we live, hence the fear of dependency. Not being relevant or meaningful brings hopelessness that can cause mental health issues of its own. 

So the fight continues to stay relevant and meaningful. Now I am constantly searching for ways to stay physically, and mentally active. To start 2023 with a big bang, I have already planned activities for 2023, which include acting in a play after a long gap, producing a Take 2 Creations film, writing a couple of film scripts, and traveling to another continent. Giving a clear direction to the state of confusion. 

I have miles to go before I sleep.

I was contemplating the other day the biggest problem in this world is everyone’s set ways of thinking, our rights, and wrongs. If not everyone, most people are working so hard to change the thinking (mind) of others around them. Sometimes very bluntly, sometimes very subtle. And this is not only limited to individual relationships, this calamity exists at every level, be it religion, culture, social structure, financial system, or political system. 

Take for example, for decades the US government paid and spent billions and trillions of dollars trying to convert other countries’ political systems because they thought the democratic system is the best for everyone in the world. Then Russians and Chinese tried to do the same to promote Communism in many countries around the world. Christians trying to make Muslims and Jews believe in Jesus Christ, and Muslims want you to believe in Quran and Mohammad’s philosophy. Hindus think their philosophy is the best in the world and so do Buddhists. People of different cultures think they are the most culturally advanced community. Take, for example, even within India, Bengalis, Marathis, Kannada, or the people of the Hindi speaking belt, they all will give you tens of examples as to why they are the most cultured and artistic community. 

You can extend the same logic to relationships. And the relationships can be of any kind, be it spouses, siblings, parents, children, boyfriend, girlfriend, or just friends. Relationships make or break where two people think or don’t think alike. Where they don’t think alike, there is a constant unspoken battle that goes between the two. Rarely you will see two opposing thinkers loving and living happily, or at least constantly bickering; they will be like the US and the old Soviet Union during the Cold War era. (Now, don’t claim you are fine, that means you are the one who is trying to control the other mind.)

For years, Putin is forcibly trying to convince Ukrainians to think like him otherwise he will kill thousands of people who don’t agree with him. Through his lies and political maneuvering, Trump convinced millions of Republican Party voters to think there was election fraud. 

So why is it important that we make others think like us? Because it gives us the feeling of attaining power. If I win a debate, that means I am more powerful than the other person, verbally and logically speaking. When one controls the other person’s mind, they feel powerful in their own small world. Putin makes Ukrainians agree with him, it gives him the power that he so desperately seeks. Trump seeks power in everything he says or does. 

But if we take this reasoning to a personal level, in relationships, it may not seem like a power struggle but it really comes down to the power. Usually, one person gives in to the other, only then the unspoken battle ends. The power superiority is usually determined by who is dominating the other person’s mind and thus their behavior. In a husband-wife relationship, a husband or wife may decide to voluntarily give in to the other’s thinking to make their relationship peaceful at home, and it wouldn’t matter how powerful they are in their world outside of their relationship. A president of the United States may easily give in to their spouse’s way of thinking at home while they persuade other country’s heads to change their political system. 

The real problem is that we are so set in OUR way of thinking that we find it easier to change another person’s thinking than our own. In that process, often we end up sacrificing truly meaningful relationships; and in extreme cases end up killing thousands of human beings; because we cannot change our thinking. Because, then, we lose our power over the other. We lose the cold war. 

Think about it again…. 

Disclaimer: Yes, I am also one of those who try to influence others’ thinking. This is in no way a self-absolution.

Since I have retired, I have been asked innumerable times how my life has changed. Searching for an honest and meaningful answer, I went out on solo cross-country travel for several months and meditated non-stop while I was enjoying my cheap wines and whiskeys. Finally, I found my answer. 

I discovered, since retirement, my sense of humor has suddenly disappeared. And I am sure most of you might have noticed it too. That was a discovery but I had to go deeper and do a root cause analysis. After meditating several more days with cheap wine and whiskey, here is the revelation I had…

1. While I worked, my body never spoke to me. But as soon as I retired, my body started talking back to me. I found several new noise-making body parts that grew after retirement. 
2. Most of my body parts are alcoholic, they behave like drunk people; they smell bad and fall all over the place for no reason. 
3. Mind has developed its own mind, a new one. It does whatever it feels like doing. The new mind thinks it is a 16year old young boy who can go on a mountain hike in the middle of a hot day without anyone on this earth knowing where I am going and without any earthly communication.  
4. At the social level, people have started treating me like these are my last few days on this earth. Whenever they meet they treat me like they have come to pay their last respect.
5. In my professional circle, all those who thought I possessed many skills, high level of wisdom and a ton of experience, now use my name in vain, as a scapegoat for every bad decision and everything that’s wrong. 
6. A year later, my fantasies for domestic and international travel seem so overrated. After travelling for almost a year, I have fallen in the lowest level of taxpayers category i.e. income below poverty level. It is traumatizing to fill zero in my annual income field in forms.
7. I discovered, most people are busy and not available for 11 am yoga class or 3 pm to 6 pm happy hour on weekdays.
8. I also learned I don’t need many things in life, just a drivable car, a bank account, 1 suitcase of clothes and a few hundred close friends and family. I have learned the value of having a close group of friends and family around to save myself from depression. Without them, life is incomplete and meaningless. 
9. Gautam Buddha discovered that life is filled with sorrow and miseries. I discovered life is filled with love and happiness, it’s all about our perspective and attitude. 

I was walking down the street the other day and saw many strings of lights people had put up for Diwali and now for Christmas, thinking why a string of lights look much better than a large size strobe light at any place even though the strobe light provides thousands more lumens in brightness. And a string of thoughts started lightning up my mind. 

On a side note, In our family or perhaps in entire Indian culture, everyone born before 1972 is a philosopher. The year 1972 means they have turned or are about to turn 50. And they relate with Socrates more than they relate with their own children. 

So my philosophical mind rushed to find a connection between the holiday season lights (just to be politically correct but I meant Diwali and Christmas lights), and the meaning of life. Well, I tried hard but couldn’t find a connection, not even a distant relative. Then suddenly, like lightning, the connection between festival lights and happiness struck me. I realized happiness is not one strobe of powerful light that lightens up a large structure, rather hundreds of little joyful events in life that makes us happy, just like the strings of lights or candles that make a house glow during Diwali, Christmas, and all those festivals where we use these lights. We humans always keep looking for a strobe of light to make us happy and ignore the small lights, strung together which can make a beautiful display of our happy lives. 

As some wise man has said before, it’s the journey that matters more than the destination. So enjoy the journey; enjoy every small little bulb when you see a light string, think of them as little joys in your life. I enjoy it when my grandson smiles after seeing me at the door or when he holds my finger to walk with me or just simply calls me Nana in his soft voice. I enjoy it when the chime outside my door makes beautiful sounds. My heart gets filled with joy when I cook something, and my guests say it’s not bad. Yes, it’s a miracle when I cook something and it’s not bad. 

So if you are under 50 and/or not a born Indian, start philosophizing everything around you and I can guarantee it will give you such a joy that you will stop looking at big strobe lights in front of the buildings and statues. On that thought, those strobe lights also look good when they are accompanied by a string of small lights. So when you are driving or walking down the street, look at those lights closely and let a smile add to your holiday joy remembering this philosophical thought and the wise man who pointed it out. I am looking forward to many strings of lights when I take my grandson and granddaughter for a ride this holiday season and we cherish those little strings of joy. 

Happy Holidays!

I often struggle with these 3 terms, perception, opinion, and judgment. In our casual social conversation, often these terms are used with a negative or positive connotation. For example, my perception of a place, thing, or person is nothing more than my opinion based on my direct or indirect observations, which is a judgment (a conclusion) I have made again from direct and indirect observations (perception). 

So, I have redefined these 3 English words for myself. Perception is an image I have drawn in my mind based on some data, hence, this is the data collection step. Now data can come from multiple sources, data can be valid or invalid but at this step, we don’t make the final judgment, we just create a visual image, a perception of that place, thing or person. Next comes the step of the analysis. Once the data is gathered, we start analyzing, so we start forming opinions about the place, thing, or person. Opinions are analyzed perceptions. And lastly, we make a conclusion from our opinion, we call that Judgment. 

I always wondered why people say don’t be judgmental. For some reason being judgmental has a very negative connotation but it’s nothing more than a conclusion reached based on our perception and opinion. As a normal developed human brain, it is impossible not to form a judgment, if you have already collected the data. Data just can’t sit idly in a corner of your brain and not do anything with it. When we analyze the data, it is the only natural process of our brain to form an opinion and come to a conclusion.

When we say don’t be judgmental, I think we mean two things – 1. Check our data thoroughly before analyzing it. Form an opinion based on only valid data. 2. Form an unbiased judgment. Often our judgments are based on our past experiences hence we can only create biased opinions and judgments. We often forget to even acknowledge that there is personal bias. In social conversations, opinions are usually regarded as personal bias-laced analyzed data but people always expect judgment to be unbiased. 

So when we make a judgment, especially about a person, people say “don’t make a judgment” or “don’t be judgmental”; is it because people may not trust our judgment, know that our judgments are biased, or are they questioning the validity of our data. Imagine judgments based on invalid data and highly influenced by personal experiences.

Coming back to the original thought of perceptions, I learned two things from this, one that we have to be very careful with our data input. As they say, Perceptions can be deceiving because more often than not, the data sources are unknown, unreliable, or highly biased. Someone else’s judgment can become our data source, OUR perception. We say I trust that person or a news/information source and form perceptions, opinions, and judgments based on that one source; exactly what happened with the followers of Trump, who trusted him to be their sole source of socio-political perceptions, opinions, and judgments. (Of course, that’s my personal perception, opinion and judgment 🙂 )

So who you trust can become the source of your perceptions, opinions, and judgments. Select your data points carefully. As they say in the IT world, garbage in, garbage out.

Have you heard people saying I am being brutally honest? Yes, I have and I have used that phrase myself. But I am going to take this phrase out of my vocabulary now. I do not practice this phrase but I use it to communicate the extent and intent of my honest opinion. 

I recently read one FB post (sorry forgot who posted it, hence no credit), saying exactly what I have been trying to convince some of my friends to do, instead of being “brutally” or “blatantly” honest, try to be “nicely” honest or just be honest. I believe when I say I am being brutally honest, I am telling the other person to get ready I am going to be brute, even though I don’t mean it that way. This also tells the other person that I am going to be lazy and irresponsible in selecting my words and say things that most likely will hurt their feelings. 

If I already know that it may hurt the other person, why be brutal then? 

One can be honest without being brute to another person. And it’s not as hard. Just pay attention to the words you are going to say. The words you are using in your mind are not necessarily always the words you want to use to express yourself. Instead, think of it if someone else uses the same words for you, will it hurt you? I think just saying that I am being honest is enough and if you feel that it can be hurtful, be honest but use nicer words to communicate the same honest thought. Usually, we are brutally honest to the people we are close to, then it doesn’t make sense to hurt them by being lazy in choosing our words with them.

It is not easy, but riding a bike was not easy, driving a car was not easy, but we all learned it by practicing, by falling a few times, or had a few accidents. The same applies when we are communicating honest thoughts with others. Just like having a car accident will increase your car insurance, or will not have insurance if you already had 3 or more accidents, in relationship insurance terms, that means a soured or completely broken relationship. So use brutally honest words when you don’t care about that relationship.

Avoid accidents, deliberately, with good communication practices, good driving habits, and keep your insurance premium low. Driving forward,  I am going to be Nicely Honest !!!

I have been doing yoga with Shri Yoga Center founder Shri Sabnis for several years. If you ask him, he will tell you  I’m not a very successful student, but a loyal one though. During every yoga session, there is always a Chakra Invocation (aka Unlocking) exercise towards the end. I have been doing it faithfully for several years, once or twice a week. But more than the exercise, I have been trying to understand the science behind Chakras, the logical aspect of it. 

In my opinion, Yoga or Chakras are not part of any religious rituals, they are not. Yoga and Chakras were invented by someone of Hindu faith and of Indian culture, which does not necessarily mean it is a religious exercise. It is a mind and body exercise, even though some people have added a spiritual element to it but it is not necessary, It’s a personal choice.

Often I feel, like in many ancient Indian rituals, foods, medicines, etc. they are explained like mythological stories, without much logical or scientific explanation to back it up. After reading a few books and articles, I still don’t understand all the symbolic expressions that people have attached to Chakras, they may have a reason but I am not convinced of everything that is said and written about Chakras, their color, and symbolic shape associations. I feel they are created to make it sound more legitimate. Hence I came up with a simpler and more practical explanation for my better understanding. 

Chakras are like lymph nodes in a human body which are part of an internal security network to protect different parts of the body. Think of a police headquarter that maintains security within the city via local police stations, and each police station acts as a local security center. All of them are connected through a hierarchical management system. Similarly, Chakras are energy centers that are virtually connected with each other using their Bluetooth network called Nadis, and our mind is their headquarter. Each Chakra energizes/vitalizes its local region. Interestingly, the Chakra system is designed only for the critical organs in the upper body. The limbs are not considered critical organs. 

My hypothesis is that while lymph nodes and blood supply systems maintain the physical well-being of our organs, Chakras provide a network of a virtual energy system that keeps the vitality of all organs in check and enhances them when invoked properly. Just like the arteries and veins have to be kept clean and healthy with diet and physical exercises, the Nadis of this virtual energy system are cleaned by doing Chakra Yoga through mental exercises. 

Chakras (aka Energy Centers) are given names, regions of the body, and different sounds to invoke them. There are many other rituals associated with Chakras that people prescribe and believe in, depending on who you talk to. Hundreds of books are written by many experts on this topic. But there is no clear evidence if any of those rituals really create additional benefits but people do it because that’s how it is written. I have not found any reliable scientific study to prove the usefulness or health benefits of Chakras. I will probably give you the same answer as any yogi will give you and that is, it cannot be proven, only experienced. 

The way I practice Chakras, includes a unique chanting word for each chakra (Lum, Vum, Rum, Yum, Hum, Ksham), touching a specific finger for each chakra, and the process of imagining and carrying the energy up to the brain. Focusing on each region is important for chakra invocation. Different words for each chakra are mainly to differentiate them verbally. The humming words are created to focus and quiet our minds from external distractions. I don’t think it will be less effective if we do not use the exact same sounds for each chakra. We can use a simple Om sound to drown out external distractions. The effect of touching a specific finger for each chakra is still baffling to me. I don’t think it has any effect but I have nothing to prove it otherwise either. 

I have always believed in the power of our brain, the more we can control it, the more effective and powerful it becomes. So the objective of Chakra exercises is to use a laser-like energy flow between energy centers and our brain. While these energy centers are imaginary but for consistency and ease’s sake, they are imagined to be in the proximity of their controlling region along the spinal cord.   

In a nutshell, there are 7 chakras, 5 of them are associated with 5 elements of this universe based on Hindu philosophy, the other 2 are associated with our mind.  

1. Muladhara (Root) Chakra is at the bottom end of your body that controls your excretion system that is why it is associated with the earth element. 
2. Swadhishthan (Sacral) Chakra – just above Muladhara, which is our water purifying system, managing our bladder and kidney, and reproductive organs ovaries and testicles, etc., hence associated with the water element.
3. Manipura (Solar Plexus) Chakra is associated with our digestive system, stomach, intestine, all glands, etc.. Since the food is digested (burned) with the help of acids and enzymes, it is associated with the fire element.
4. Anahata (Heart) Chakra is for the heart and lungs connected to the air element.
5. Vishuddhi (Throat) Chakra is associated with the upper respiratory system, vocal chord, thyroid glands, neck, etc.   Since our voice is the product of this region, our voice creates sound waves in the space hence it is associated with the space element.
6. Ajna (third eye) Chakra is associated with the front lobe of our brain Cerebellum, vision, sense of smell, hearing, and sinuses, etc. It is associated with our insight (third eye), perceptions, etc.
7. Sahasrara (Crown) Chakra is our headquarter, this is where resides our wisdom, universal consciousness, and self-knowledge. This is our identity. 

So the question still is if these chakras can be traced and directly linked to a proven method of improvement. As I said earlier, I have no proof or evidence to show that it has improved anything. Had I not done yoga and chakras, would I have been different intellectually or physically? How do we prove that? So it’s impossible to figure out if they make any difference. There is no nuclear dye test that can show if my intelligence and body functions are better because of unlocking/invoking chakras. But someday we might be able to have a piece of scientific equipment to measure our progress with chakra invocation. 

Then why do I do yoga and chakras? 

1. First and foremost, I am a very skeptical and curious person which translates to when I am skeptical, I am curious to prove it legit or illegitimate. 
2. Secondly, I see no harm in doing it, there are no negative side-effects, and who doesn’t want to have a shot at improving their life, improving themselves mentally and physically. If it works, I only gain and if it doesn’t work, I get to claim and argue that this is all BS. 
3. Thirdly, I have felt my health is better in general because I have not gotten sick in the last few years, not even cold or flu, my sinus issues are greatly reduced or eliminated, however, without any clear evidence of a link to Yoga and Chakra invocation.
4. I do feel sensations in my head when I do chakras. I can feel some activity in the head while doing chakras. So if nothing else, hopefully, there is more blood supply because of a higher level of activity. 
5. Lastly, I cannot say with surety that this is all for big money and a fad. There are millions of others who claim to have better health because of yoga and chakras, I have hardly ever seen any yoga chakra practitioner with many health complications. 

So I give both thumbs up to yoga and chakra exercises because it has the possibility of only positive gains.

The other day in our WhatsApp group my friend and the co-host of “Take 2 Creations”, Chetna wrote to our common friend Chhaya something to the effect that they are Soul Sisters. And it struck me at that moment that it is not uncommon for women to call each other Soul-Sisters but highly uncommon among men to call another man a Soul-Brother. While it is common to call your buddy “Brother” or “Bro” but I don’t remember anyone calling another man soul-brother unless they belong to some soul-searching-brother’s group or a cult, well I’m guessing. 

Why is it that brothers don’t acknowledge, or connect at the soul level? Some men have found their soulmate in another human but it’s always romantically with a woman or another man. You get the drift. Brothers don’t call brothers soul-brothers, not that men don’t connect at the soul level but they feel it’s not a macho thing to express soul-brotherhood openly. It lowers their TQ, yes, the Testosterone Quotient. 

Since men were the hunters and had to be tough out there, they have carried this behavior into the generations when they are not even remotely connected to hunting. Actually, a whole lot of them don’t even eat meat. My guess is that men didn’t evolve emotionally as much as women did. Because traditionally, women were the principal social bees of the family, they had to deal with all kinds of emotional events from birthing a child to people’s sickness and everything else in-between, while men were busy gathering food for the family, worrying about the future wealth, and spending the rest of their time unwinding in some kind of sport. And all those activities required higher levels of Testosterone; so in essence, men never got a chance to develop their estrogen levels higher and lost the fight for hormonal balance. 

Now, the third stimulus bill is about to be passed, I urge all CongressMen to allocate some funds for a shot of Estrogen given to all men with a shot of Covid Vaccine. There may never be a better opportunity to correct the hormonal levels in men, all at the same time. You all owe it to your brotherhood. Let’s become soul-brothers, once and for all. 

P.S. Thank you Rajiv Paul for the inspiration to write on this topic