Alone-ness vs. Loneliness

Being alone mentally and/or physically can be nirvana or the worst nightmare depending on the timing. There are moments in life when you desire and seek to be alone, just get away from everything and be by yourself that is called Alone-ness. But in those moments when you are alone and don’t want to be alone, you want to be with someone desirable, not just anyone, but can’t be with someone, that is called loneliness. I am sure most people have experienced both many times, as I have. But have you experienced loneliness for a prolonged period? Usually prolonged loneliness leads to depression. While Alone-ness can help you achieve nirvana, it may awaken your Kundalini or achieve enlightenment, loneliness on the other hand, can make one miserable, Irrespective of however many people may be around, you can still be lonely. 

Loneliness is a state of mind that is created from a desire. Desire is an expectation, or wishful thinking that is impractical or unrealistic at that moment, and we know it. That impractical/unrealistic desire creates a hopelessness, called Loneliness. Depression in almost all cases, is a feeling of hopelessness, irrespective of the cause or origin of it. Depression can be caused by a number of reasons and feeling of loneliness is one of the reasons for depression.

Loneliness often is circumstantial. For example, people are lonely because the loved one or the desired ones are not around, and there is no hope of meeting them. Loss of someone near and dear can create prolonged loneliness, unless an alternative is found. Loneliness can also be short-term or temporary. You are used to doing some activity or meet someone almost every day and the absence of that activity or meeting can cause that short-term loneliness. 

Generally, short-term loneliness is healthy. It teaches us the value of the other person or activity or whatever caused that loneliness. Two lovers fighting and not talking for a couple of days make them realize the value of the other person and the relationship, hence generally results in them making up and both people feeling sorry about the fight. And when that fight prolongs and results in surfacing of bigger issues, which may result in the end of the relationship, yet still the breakup often is heart-wrenching for those who go through this process. 

I am planning on going on a solo trip across the USA and was thinking i will be quite miserable being alone for a prolonged period of time so decided to start practicing living alone. I went out for a walk and then had dinner by myself to feel how I would feel. And I felt so miserable for half of the time I was there. First half I felt miserable because I was seeing everyone else with others, talking and enjoying themselves while I was trying to find something interesting on my phone to keep myself from feeling lonely. But once I found some interesting thoughts and activities of my own, I stopped looking at others and stopped feeling miserable. 

The bottom line is that when we stop looking at others and find something that interests us, we stop feeling lonely. Remember, next time you feel lonely, stop comparing yourself with others and find a hobby or activity to channelize your negative energy towards a positive outcome.  If it’s a prolonged issue then seek advice from a professional.

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