Identity Crisis?

November 30, 2020

Identity Crisis is a phrase we generally hear about people who are confused about themselves and generally regarded as psychologically misguided. But do we look at ourselves ever and contemplate whether we have a misguided identity? I often question myself, if the image I am projecting matches with real me. Do I do what I preach? if we ask 100 random people if their public image matches with the real them, I can bet almost all of them will say yes. But I will challenge their perception of their identity.

I believe a whole lot of us are not who we project to be. I think we project who we want to be but we are not there yet or can’t be. That could be the reason we often agree with a socially “acceptable” stance in a social setting, which is also known as “group mentality”. No matter what your stance is in a social setting, have you given a thought after the event, if you really believed in what you said, or was it because you didn’t want to offend others, didn’t want to ruffle the feathers, or was it to be a rebel?

That is exactly what I struggle with at times. Often I find myself in a “rebellious” position because habitually or for curiosity sake, I take opposing views in a social setting and find that the perception of me becomes different from who I really am and what I believe in. But Often my actions on the other hand maybe to do things that are uncharacteristically different from who I really am, to not ruffle feathers, or to not inconvenience others. This identity crisis I tend to struggle with quite often. I have not intentionally created this false perception of me but I feel perhaps I do this subconsciously to create a false image of me that I am not because that creates a better identity of me.

This false identity I find among many people I interact with. Sometimes it is very obviously portrayed as a fake image and sometimes it’s very subtle. But is there anything wrong in portraying a better image of us? Everyone wants to be liked socially so what’s wrong if we project our ideal state where we have not reached yet?

I believe the problem arises when one portrays an image opposite of who they really are, an image where they have no intentions of achieving. For example, if I do not believe in religion or god and I portray my image of a religious person just to fit in or to be liked by others, that can cause a true identity crisis. 

And I am sure different people have different perceptions of me, based on the type and level of interaction I had with them. So it is up to me to be aware of the perception I create, consciously and subconsciously, and take ownership of their perceptions. Then It’s up to us to decide whose perceptions we care about. We care about our perceptions among the people we interact with. A politician or a public figure may care about everyone’s perception or of their support base. 

But no matter whose perception you care about, remember not to create a fake perception of yourself for yourself. Because if you fake it with yourself, you may never be able to find your true identity.